A Bad Start to an Amusing Day

So, the tail end of last night and this morning were probably moments of karmic backlash from past lives. I mean, how else do you explain all the crap that seemed to just keep happening? I dunno, but for now I'm filing it under the same category as why celebrity deaths seem to happen in groups of four. In other words: mysteries that I'm too lazy to look into.

Anyways, the reasons I counted it as a really crappy day are:

1) My friend (almost 22) just told me she's dating a 40 year old. She said she was using me as a "sounding board" for when she tells her parents. Here's my biggest thing: how do you respond to the fact that your friend who is essentially your age is dating someone less than ten years younger than your own parents! Seriously! And I'm not a good person to act as a sounding board, especially for shit like this (i.e. relationship stuff), nor will I react anything like your parents will (who will probably snarl and yell and lecture) because I know, from experience I might add, that I have no control over your actions and have no room to lecture on dating when I, myself, am not/have not. I know there are a million versions of the dating "age rule" for acceptable age-spans for you to date (the one I'm thinking of is your age plus or minus 7 or something like that). Whatever rule you use. Dating someone nearly twice your age is pretty much always out. I really don't want to get drawn into the exploding drama that will happen when she tells her parents (because it will be awkward and tense and, well, drama) so, hopefully she'll take my "I honestly don't know what to say" as the "I don't want to be involved" I intended it to be.

2) When someone says they want to "drop a subject" please leave it be and don't keep bringing it up or those people involved in the subject (see above in 1). I don't want to hear about your 40-year-old's costume ideas that involve leather pants because they inevitably lead to envisioning my not-so-much-older father in leather pants and scars me for life. I don't need any help adding to my mental trauma, I do fine on my own thank you very much.

3) My shower knob-control-thingy fell off when I was trying to take a shower last night. I mean it just fell off. I was trying to pull it out to turn on the water and it just came away in my hand. I had to take a "ye olde shower" with a bowl of water and trips to the sink. Maintenance said they'd be by today to fix it, its still broken.

4) Because maintenance said they'd be by to fix the shower, I spent an hour last night cleaning my apartment so that I don't look like a complete slob to them. I could have been sleeping at 10:30 last night, but no. Not until 11:30. Because I needed to do dishes and shit.

5) I spilled scalding hot cocoa all over myself and my desk this morning which was horrible in 5ways: I nearly killed my laptop, I destroyed all my notes/drawings that were on my desk, I burned my lap, I was late to work because I needed to clean up the spill, and I didn't get my morning caffeine fix. That last bit was the worst. I need caffeine to function at work and without it i'm just a little bit testy and more prone to snarling and lashing out at people when they irritate me. I was able to counteract the snarling, raging beast that is uncaffinated Allison by playing nothing but classical music at work. This also nearly put me to sleep a few times, but I decided inattention was better than biting the head off my boss or the graduate students if they decided to treat me like an idiot child. I think I made the right choice though.

Despite all that horribleness, today ended up being somewhat amusing. Of the three of my friends I sit with in Parasitology, only one showed up today so we spent class working on Sudoku and crosswords instead of listening to lectures of Trypanosoma bruci gambience (parasite which causes African Sleeping Sickness). Art Theory was full of quotes and discussions of country music during which I admitted to developing a southern drawl or twang whenever I listen to extensive country music. Plus I finally was able to label what I am in terms of the music I listen to: music schizophrenic. I seriously am too. I really wanna swap iPods with someone to see their expression when they put on My Top Rated playlist and hear it go from HipHop/Rap to Country to Emo to Indie to Metal to Classical to Classic Rock to J Pop and so on.

One more mini-rant before I go onto quotes: people, I have no problem with you wearing your pajamas to class if its before 10 AM, but at 3 PM you should have real pants on. Seriously. Its not that hard to do, nor are jeans uncomfortable. Also refrain from wearing short-short pajama bottoms to class. Especially if you have cellulose legs. Its really unattractive. And insane when we were only in the 50's at highest today.

Quotes (all from Art Theory):

"Ah, the British Museum. Its one of those huge ones...full of things they stole." - Prof. Andersen

"Every time you use 'incredible' in your paper you lose credibility." - Prof. Andersen after 20 minute lecture on our first writing assignment

"...and then someone poured beer over a Van Gogh or something." - Prof. Andersen on Parties in Museums

Student: "Most people who listen to it and love it smoke weed everyday."

Prof. Andersen: "And we have so much of it around "

"Stoners typically aren't rich."

Also, hearing your Prof going off on a tangent about Dancing with the Stars is both amusing and somewhat disturbing especially when it begins to sound like gossip.

Bus Conversations: Cougar Gladiators

I've come to the conclusion that buses are the best places to overhear amusing conversations. Today one such conversation happened as we passed Beasley Coliseum and the rather exhuberant driver announced it two boys (despite the fact that they could have only been 2 years younger than me at most) had a very, very entertaining idea:

"We should use the coliseum as a coleseum and have gladiator battles."

"Not like American Gladiator battles either. We'll use swords and lions and shit."

"Split classes into two teams and have them fight for their grades."

"Only the survivors pass the class."

"You'd battle your TA's and shit."

"Haha! [mimics sword in stomach] 'Noooo! I was a graduate student!"

Oh, college. Only here can your prove without a doubt that boys will remain boys until they're at least 25...

Busses, Doctors, and Warhol...Oh my! (with bonus material!)

A whole bunch to write on, because a whole lot has amused me in the past few days so...prepare yourself for some random thought dump-age! Here we go! List away!

1) Pullman Transit

I rode with the friendliest bus driver I've ever seen the other day and he amused all of our class-weary minds on our way to "apartment-land" even as we were all crammed in rather like sardines. He even suggested crowd-surfing someone up to the front of the bus to get him off. It was fun. I also heard a suggestion that may actually be a good one: Pullman should get double-decker busses! It would help with the whole 'too many people' thing at rush times (essentially before every hour). What made this suggestion even better was the comment that followed: "Because its so much fun stumbling up the stairs of a double-decker when you're completely

shit-faced." Oh Pullman, how classy your inhabitants are...

I should also include one of today's "Overheard in Pullman" as its very fittign and amusing.

"Have you ever been with me before? I drive fast as shit!" - Said the wild-eyed transit driver to

the group of freaked-out freshmen

2) Parasitology

Parasitology on Weds was a movie day, which you know is ALWAYS great. Until you remember you're in Parasitology and what that will mean in a special entitled "Parasites: eating us alive." Yup, lots of graphic moments and gory descriptions. The worst thing was not the worms moving around on MRIs or X-rays or whatever, it was seeing people walking around with Elephantiasis and legs 3x the size of their other one. Gah. The whole special was overly melodramatic and the audio didn't always match the video, but the best part which made me start giggling at a horribly inappropriate moment was this one quote:

"...Until one of the doctors remembered his med school training..."

Because it took how many days and people dying of a parasitic infections for a doctor to remember the training he got for, oh, I don't know...his job?! What was he going off of before? Magic 8 Ball predictions..."Is this a virus? Hmmm...'Reply hazy, try again'." Gawd...

3) Art Theory

We covered Andy Warhol on Weds in my Art Theory class and I was reminded why I love him so much. He's so quirky. He was also one of those people you just have to smile at when he descrbes his philosophy for art as: "Art is everything, and everything is art." He's also such an interesting person because he accepted everyone for who/what they are and at the same time shook up the art world by making art out of things/of things that, before then, weren't art. I found out he did commercial advertisments and was proud of them. Hell, I would be too! Take a look!

Yeah, We're doing Roy Lichtenstein on Friday. Will probably have more then. :)

4) Animal Development

I've apparently taken too many uper-devision science classes for this lab. I had a quiz today and was overthinking absolutely EVERYTHING! Its a good thing I caught myself and dumbed my answers down to a 300 level class (although I think it should be 200 level...), so I think I did good.

A mini side rant here: If you're listening to music on your iPod and you have the volume up high enough that I can hear the song clear enough to sing along with your music perfectly from 20 feet away...you might want to turn it down a smidgen before you...I dunno...blow out your ear-drum. Oh. Wait. Too late. Try getting better ear-buds, kid. On a related note, AC/DC isn't really good pre-test music. It just made me wanna watch Supernatural (New episode tonight!)

5) My zany friends

A few random moments here:

Road trips to Lewiston/Clarkston to buy a shit ton of beer for party this weekend draws some pretty interesting looks. Especially when you've got an entire cart full of beer. :) I've also sold my soul...I went grocery shopping in Wal-Mart [sigh] I'm such a supporter for human rights... Another fitting "Overheard" here:

"I'm not gonna drink Busch Light! What do you think I am, a freshman?" - How cosmopolitan. Where's your monocle Mr. Sophistication?

Tiffany is going to color-code her children so she has no problem telling them apart (at least until someone cough*me*cough teaches them to swap clothes just the screw with their mother's head). She and I are also very likely to have twins.

Little Lou the cat is crazy and has a bag fixation: If you offer him a bag he'll crawl inside and lay down so you can tote him around in a grocery sack. Hillarity ensues when he manages to get a leg out of a hole and tries to escape/defend himself from tickling-tormentors. It also leads to the ultimate perfect moment quote: "Well, the cat's out of the bag now..."

6) Maitenance

They're still working on the hot water tank right now (banging and clanging around), so I still don't have water. It will be done tonight though, John (my landlord) said so when he poked his head out of the laundry room to answer my question.

Bird Parasites

Just had a moment (Okay, several) while talking with my friend Leah on AIM

Leah: Dude, there's an OWL!

Me: Outside?!

Leah: Yeah!

Me: Picture?

Leah: Can't see him. I can only hear him.

Me: Oh, it is dark...

Leah: Yes. Yes it is. Where have you been?

Me: I've been cramming bird parasites into my brain.

Leah: Lol.

Me: That came out wrong...

A few quotes and randomness for a Monday

Should be studying Parasitology right now, but I can't focus. Nor can I watch the movie I have stuck in my head (Gladiator) because I don't own it. So instead I'm posting a few quotes I collected over the past few days and a few amusing moments.

Quotes:

"It's been a while since I've stalked a famous person." - Prof. Andersen

"Like cutting butter with a chainsaw." - Classmate quoting Theater Prof.

“As much as I’d like to, I cannot sustain myself on Ben and Jerry’s, so my reasoning takes over and I eat broccoli.” – Prof. Andersen

“It’s like…an out of body experience…with art.” – Me on Immanuel Kant’s ‘rant’ on beauty

Texting with friend sitting two seats over:

Courtney: I am freakin’ tired

Me: You’re not alone.

Courtney: I know. Lol. Everyone’s dozing off.

Me: Yeah. Apparently brain eating amoebae aren’t enough on a Monday.

Class Rants:

Yeah, so we were covering two of the most disturbing amoeba species I’ve ever heard of. Screw Entamoeba histolytica, these two have no reason to keep us alive.

Naegleria fowleri – this is my newest reason in a LONG line of reasons I will not go swimming in fresh water. Besides just hating the feeling of the lake/river bed, I’m now aware of a free-living amoeba that can be present that will eat your brain. Yeah. As if that weren’t enough, it only takes 5-6 days to kill you and is very difficult to diagnose. I know it’s rare and all that rot (approx. 200 cases worldwide, 81 in USA, 6 in 2007)but the thought of an parasite getting to my brain because I got water up my nose and an amoeba decided to shimmy up the olfactory nerve to munch at my grey matter is more than enough to keep me away from lakes/ponds/rivers for…pretty much my entire life. The fact that it has a 95% fatality rate simply reiterates that.

Acanthamoeba – because just having shitty eyesight and having to deal with contact lenses isn’t enough stress already, now there’s an amoeba that will gnaw its way into your eye if it gets caught under your contact lens. Perfect. Good news: this is primarily from people washing their contacts with tap water or handling your lenses after playing in dirt. Bad news: supposedly it’s also a risk when you shower with your contacts in (do this all the time). Perfect. Thank you so very much Parasitology, I’m going to become a paranoid hermit because of you. Especially because graphic photographs seem to be a must for every parasite we look at. Ugh. What’s more, this doesn’t only go after your eyes, and given the other possibility, you’re going to hope you only get this in your eyes. Aside from Acanthamoeba keratitis (the infection of your cornea/eye by Acanthamoeba trophs/cysts) Acanthamoeba may also cause a granulomatous amebic encephalitis, which has no known treatments and is thus 100% fatal. You don’t even need to translate this whole thing to know what it does. All you need to know is what the last word means: encephalitis. That means it attacks the brain. Enough said.

On that cheerful, disturbing, note, I’m going to study their less-dangerous cousins, the Entamoeba species and other lovely disease causing parasites like the Leishmania species and Plasmodium species (cause malaria). Oh how I love my chosen major right now...

Studying After A Long Day Doesn't Work Well

Especially when you're studying with a friend. And studying biology. When you're both Bio majors. Why you ask? Because you're tired and your twisted mind starts making everything horribly hillarious even if they're deadly parasites. I did learn several interesting things today however!

Studying paraitology and reading out facts for each species leads to some very realizations:

"'Undulating' is a dirty word. In the same sense that 'moist' is a dirty word."

Shortening parasite names to species names allows you to humanize them and remember them just like you remember the douche-bag in class who always argues with the professor:

"donovani is a sandfly licking, leishmania spreading, fiend!"

Dramatic pauses and emphasis are always welcome when reading dry descriptions of parasitic diseases:

"...and may lead to...DEATH...in 2-3 years...if untreated."

"Has 100% mortality...if untreated."

Parasitology makes me never want to leave the Pacific Northwest ever because of all the parasitic diseases in the tropics and in Africa and in Central and South America:

"If I ever see a Kissing Bug, I'm going to flip out..."

"Where are they native?"

"Well, they found this one in Texas."

"Never going to Texas."

Two of our classmates probably think we're insane now given how loud we were laughing (I actually had tears forming) but that's ok. We already knew we were.

You know you're in a boring class when:

1) You see more than 10 laptops in front of you on facebook

2) You're counting on 2 hands the number of people in your vacinity who are doing the crossword/sudoku in the Daily Evergreen

3) You have to nudge your friends to keep them awake

4) Only about 1/3 of the class remembers to do the online homework assignment

5) Nobody takes notes

6) Neither you nor the TA sitting beside you is paying any attention

7) You spend the entire class period working on plotlines for novels with said TA sitting next to you

8) You doodle very elaborate flowers in the margin of your notes. Complete with shading and individual seed details.

Needless to say, today was boring.

The highlight, however was getting home to discover my order from Threadless came in and my digital cameras from my dad for my thesis project came too (they're so cute!)